If we want to change a story, we have to expand the experience of the person telling it. ~ Rinku Sen
When I go around to various classes and organizations to tell my ‘story’, I often feel rather disconnected from that part of my life. It seems like a lifetime ago and I suppose in a way it was. The story I tell was of a person at a particular time and neither the person nor the time exist any longer. I’ve evolved.
When I try to remember the period when I felt like ending my life, I can’t recall those emotions. Isn’t that strange? To have at one time felt such deep anguish that I contemplated suicide and now it’s as though I’m telling someone else’s story because there is no emotional connection there any longer.
For those who have listened to me tell my story, I hope that you understand it has little to do with being transgender and the physical transformation that comes with that. That’s simply the path I took. It has everything to do with the awakening of the whole person. In the letting go of old mindsets that kept me imprisoned in pain, I began to heal. I changed my thinking and my belief system (or as my friend Martha likes to call it – my b.s.) and because I developed a new consciousness, my life changed. One thought at a time, one day at a time it changed. I entertained new perspectives and it led to different ways of doing and being. It’s still changing. Two decades from now, I may feel as far removed from my current story as I do now from my story of over two decades ago. I’m counting on it as I have much growing yet to do.
If you heard me speak, what I hope you got from my story is that change can happen. Your experience of life can become much richer and fuller if you but see it with new eyes and allow your experience to expand. Let go of old thought patterns and emotional habits that leave you feeling stuck. Open your mind and heart, move in the direction of your Highest and Best Self, and see where your path takes you.
Peace & Blessings ~